People are rarely honest about why they leave a company. Too many associates that depart follow Jimmy Conway’s advice (played by Robert DeNiro) in the 1990 hit movie “Goodfellas,” who told Henry Hill (played by Ray Liotta), “Never rat on your friends and keep your mouth shut.”

There is no upside incentive for the employee to be open and honest. Think about it. The primary reason people leave companies is because of the relationship and lack of emotional connection with their boss. However, it is almost never talked about in the exit interview. Why? Who wants to burn a bridge with a boss they may need for a future job reference? It is easier to talk about work-life balance, moving on to build your skill sets, or the need to make more money.

Salary is much further down the list as a reason to leave than what is usually reported in exit interviews. What is your current game plan to keep your best people? While most companies talk a great deal about the need to retain the best people to sustain growth, they lack an integrated game plan to create retention momentum. Leaders are personally accountable to acquire and retain the very best people. It is that simple. If they fail to recruit and retain the top talent, they will not sustain growth over time. At the end of the day, the effective leader must embrace a plan to retain the very best talent. Emotional Connection Points Emotional connections provide the fuels that greatly enhance retention. It is driven by the trust and development of a leader’s individual team members. It starts with building emotional connections with each team member. The power of the “unexpected” is the most powerful way to emotionally connect with another person. Think about it. Do you get more credit with your significant other when you send a handwritten note when they least expect it? Of course you do. The same concept applies to you as a leader. It is the “unexpected” things a leader does that really make the difference. Retailer Connection Ron Cox, an Ace True Value Hardware owner in Appleton, Wisc., represents a great example of emotionally connecting with employees. Cox sent a handwritten note and gift card to the significant other of each of his star employees to let them know how much their spouse meant to his store as a highly valued employee and person. These emotional connections will be transferred to the customer as Cox’s staff “pays it forward.” In the 2000 movie “Pay It Forward,” Kevin Spacey indicated that sometimes the smallest things make the biggest difference and by using random acts of kindness you can “pay it forward.” This will work very well from you to your employees and in turn to your customers. Big Foot The author has always had a habit as a leader of stomping his feet when he walks down the hallway. People could always hear his size 12 loafers before they made visual contact. This habit has followed him throughout my career. During my early years I was counseled to walk slower and talk lower if I really wanted to move into senior management ranks. His teams always had fun with his foot stomping on a regular basis. In fact, the author was given the unexpected gift of a “big boot” from my team that was placed on a plaque with the inscription “Big Foot… Keep on Stompin’.” Everyone had a great deal of fun with this award at the author’s expense. Combine all of these emotional connections with self-effacing humor. Always remember, humor at the expense of your team almost always removes deposits from the emotional connection bank. Take your job seriously, but go crazy making fun of yourself. Your team will love it. Humor also relaxes your team and reduces tension. Why was the movie and television series “M*A*S*H” so successful? They conveyed humor that was so necessary to maintain sanity in a horrific situation. Home Turf Don’t forget how the little things can make a huge difference. For example, instead of always having your people meet with leaders in their office, go visit them on their home turf. It is a sign of mutual respect. The ironic part is that by going to their home base, leaders give up their legitimate management authority to that person. They will actually see you as a more confident and caring leader. The location of the meeting is a little thing that makes a big difference. You will increase your effectiveness as a leader when you visit your people’s home turf regularly. Make Time to Connect Remember, people do not usually leave organizations. They leave their leaders. If you lose enough good people, your organization will be unable to grow. The effective leader understands that emotional connections to the leader are the most powerful retention devices in the tool kit. If this is all true, why do leaders so often fail to build these emotional connections with their people? Because it takes time and places many leaders outside their comfort zones, thus increasing their vulnerability. It is easier to tackle those 85 e-mails sitting in your in-box. What many leaders fail to realize is that they are actually more vulnerable if they choose not to invest the time to do it. How does the time needed to replace all your top talent compare with the investment you need to make to emotionally connect with your people? You need to invest every day.